Have you ever had a week where you just can't get on track? Where your life seems stuck in neutral? Where your biggest accomplishment and your biggest embarrassment are the same thing: watching Glee?
I'm having one of those weeks. Off schedule, out of sync, undisciplined - these are the words I would use to describe my life over the last four days. It's like I'm dancing to the wrong song (and that's a weird analogy considering that I only "car dance").
I've been tempted to do what I always do in times like this, beat myself up over it. I suck...I'm lazy...I'm stupid...I'm out of my league. In the past, my outrageously infantile self-loathing would be followed up with despair. It would usually involve long, morose car rides, a steady dose of jazz and bluegrass, a tad too much rum, and - particularly if it's raining - a culminating, dramatic double-fist-shake-at-the-heavens for cinematic effect; Why God...whyyyyyyyy?!?!
But things are different now. Though I still don't like or excuse my inconsistency, it's no longer the starting gun for my race to the fetal position. Of course I suck, this is nothing new. Of course I'm out of my league, this is not a breaking story. Of course I'm sometimes lazy, I know this. The amazing thing is that none of this affects how much God loves me. None of this affects the plan God has for my life. In fact, it's because God chooses to use me in spite of my insufficiencies that I marvel at His goodness. My gaffs highlight His grace.
Maybe you've had a bad week, too. Maybe you disappoint yourself sometimes just like the rest of us. Maybe you're off of your game right now. That's alright. God loves you anyway. Your string of bad days has not put a dent in His plan for your life. He's unphased by your failings.
God's grace for you is still flowing. God's love for you is still deep. Isn't that amazing?
(Originally posted on May 20, 2010)
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