Life has been a little off balance in my house for the last week-and-a-half. Heather and the kids were in Pittsburgh last week and they got home in time for me to clean out the car, switch out the luggage, give high fives and wave goodbye as I took off for Charlotte over the weekend. While our respective trips were important, I realized that I have been with my kids a total of seven hours over the last eight days. SEVEN hours! Not cool.
Parenting from a distance doesn't work for me. Even if it's just for a few days, I don't like being an absent father. It's just not how I'm wired. I need to be present. I need to be close. I need to be engaged.
What about you? Are you okay with being an absent father? I'm not talking to men who deploy in the military or travel in their jobs. I'm talking to men who share a home with their family but don't share their hearts. Close physical proximity doesn't equal fatherhood. You can be absent while sitting on your own couch eating a taco. So, taco-eating dad, what kind of father are you? Present and engaged or absent and empty?
Don't tell me about how much you provide. Don't tell me about how busy you are. Don't tell me about how stressful your day is. And don't tell me about how great you used to be. Are you great now? Can your kids talk to you? Do you spend time with them each day? Do they like you? Do they trust you? Do they even miss you anymore?
Because guess what, dads? A father who leaves is bad, but a father who pretends to stay isn't much better. It's not the example that God set for us, and it's not the life that He wants for our families. Literally and symbolically, seven hours in eight days isn't enough. We can do better.
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